So when they send you a text, you reply almost immediately.(We all know how attached we are to our smartphones, so it’s silly to pretend you didn’t see their message.) Plus, we’re all big boys and girls here: No need for those petty, childish games where you wait 10 minutes or maybe an hour to text them back, right?
Presumably, you’ve been talking for a while before you got her number, so there may not be a lot more to say an hour later. A few tips: • Before you say goodnight, make an excuse to call her the same night or the next day.
Why do we put so much of our energy into trying to figure out this simple decision? Of all the things I remember from my single days, that’s probably one of the most memorable; the “ call him” conundrum. If he hasn't called and you really want to talk to him, if he’s the right guy for you and you’re the right woman for him, it won’t matter. You can call if you want to; he can call if he wants to.
You know, the one where you call your best girlfriends, or maybe even your mom, and go over the pros and cons of calling him or waiting for him to call. And I started thinking about why it’s so hard for us to wait for him to call. But then we read something else that says, no, boy chases girl. At this point, we’re right back to where we started. You can wait if you want to, or don’t wait if you don’t want to.
If a text back from someone is considered a “reward,” consider the fact that lab animals who get rewarded for pushing a lever every time will eventually slow down because they know that the next time they want a reward, it will be waiting for them.
So basically, if you are the guy or girl who texts back immediately, you are taken for granted and ultimately lower your value as a reward.
Question: According to 90’s indie comedy Swingers (and every dude who’s ever seen it or heard of it and their younger brothers, nephews and children), the standard number of days to wait to call a girl after you get her number is…? We’ve come a long way since the 90s, however (I mean, I can’t remember the last time I wore more than one flannel shirt at one time or boxer shorts as pants), and might it be time to update our strategy regarding number-acquisition-to-contact-time-lag. This low-stress means of communication didn’t exist in the 90’s, but we’ve yet to adjust our expectations based on the new technology. He claims that a quality woman will be flexible and not so uptight as to get angry or hurt about the obvious game that you’re playing with her.